Today’s blog post is a Lesson and step-by-step Ritual to shift your perspective on all the loves who have come before, so that you may recognize and appreciate their distinct/sacred purpose in your life, then clear your path to open to a love that stays.
The perspective shift is about accepting that every person who we allow to become significant to us is an assignment and our experience with them is filled with reflections of who we are and lessons to facilitate who we are to become. If we choose to become present to these lessons, we can consciously evolve the teachings into ourselves, and progress to higher level partnerships.
One way that lessons come through others and is by them acting in ways that infuriates us! Anything that another person does that we can not stand is directly connected to a mentality, core belief or out dated behavior within us that we can not stand. ACTION: Begin to take notice of this, and with time you will unravel your reactivity to others, and instead see button pushers as sacred teachers who are presenting you with the experience of seeing yourself in an objective way – and a growth opportunity to accept yourself through the compassionate acceptance of others.
With this, you begin to realize the imperfect perfection in all things, and that no one ever does anything TO you and that everything is done FOR you, you allow your default operating system to shift from victim to visionary. Or, from someone who is in a position of cooperation and choice in their life(visionary) vs. being subject to the winds of the world with no cooperation or choice in it(victim).
When it comes to love – those who enter our lives and walk along the path to LOVE with us are our sacred teachers/soul mates, or soul ‘friends’, and we have many many each lifetime. How on Earth could our soul -as complex and enigmatic as it is – travel the journey of an entire life with only one ‘soulmate’?! So we get many. Our parents and siblings are most certainly our soul mate welcome committee.
Regarding the pursuit of Romantic Love – I now think in terms of it being a process that can involve many many soul mates/friends and ultimately one soul twin. How many soul mates is determined by how many lessons you have to learn or how receptive you are to those lessons as they cycle through.
A soul twin is someone who is just that: your twin soul. They are an inexplicably perfect partner for you, your souls are pound for pound and ounce for ounce the same in sacred ways that can not be manufactured. By that I mean that you share the same spiritual foundation, the same energetic fabric about all things big and small, you hold the same vision for self and life, and you are here to walk through lessons that compliment one another in a way that continually alchemizes seeming conflict into deeper understanding, connection and love. And all of this has an effortlessness and naturally supported willingness and knowingness, that together allows you two to always feel safe and taken care of, no matter what.
I suspect that a person is only granted their soul twin in a lifetime if they have taken life’s lessons in earnest, done the necessary work up until now that allows them to even be aware of who is in front of them – so they know it when they see it – and are continually committed to doing the new work necessary to evolve to the level of enjoying soul twin’ship for life. Neither having many soul mates or one soul twin is better or worse, they are just different stations (or some may say ‘choices’) in life.
So – if you are finding yourself experiencing a string of soul mates/friends and feel that a soul twin’ship is true for you in this lifetime, here is a process to begin to accept and appreciate all those who have come before, so you may open to a higher level partnership, or soul twin.
Allow 1 hour minimum.
Set the intention that you are expanding your capacity for higher level partnership.
Light a candle.
Pen + Paper.
Sage, incense or uplifting scented candle optional and recommended to cleanse + sweeten your space.
TAKE a moment to center into yourself through sitting on the floor, maybe a few moments of stretching, deep breathing, what ever you do to become present. With pen to paper, allow stream of consciousness to make a list of everyone who you have allowed to become significant to you thus far. Allow this to flow naturally, trusting that everyone who is to make the list will through no effort on your part, as you are out of the way and working directly with your subconscious, allowing it to pour fourth all the information that is needed to align your intention with it’s highest outcome. Continue with the list until you stop writing, ask if there is anyone else, if so add them to the list, then ask again, add them to the list. Do so until your list feels complete.
REVIEW this list now, slowly, and as your eyes cross each name, allow the faces and energy of each person to enter into your awareness, see them each, one by one, right in front of you if possible and continue to breathe into this experience. ~:Now is a good time to light a smudge stick of sage if you have it, so you may keep you own energy field clear of attachments:~ Next, create distance between you and all of those you have conjured by allowing them to float away from you to form a group out in front of you in the distance, and reduce their size to about 15% of what it was. (Yes, shrink them.) You are now seeing them as a collective, allowing faces, emotions or experiences with any of them to arise at any time. Begin to see each of them now, individually or as a group, as SACRED. ~: Now is a good time to light an uplifting scented candle to sweeten the energy in your space:~
They gave themselves to you, focused on you in some way in this lifetime – regardless of it’s outcome – that has the potential to get each of you closer to the sustainable love of a higher level partnership with someone else. To put it more simply – you two are sacred to one another cause you both tried for love together! And trying for love is the most sacred precious thing we attempt in our lives. Of all the people on the planet, if nothing else, you and those you’ve attracted did THAT for each other, and that is HUGE and to be cherished.
CLOSE your eyes now and allow the rich emotion of that truth well up inside of your chest and begin to form a growing ball of golden light. Breathe into this ball of golden light, and infuse it with all of the memories, feelings, smiles, kisses, pains, tears and finally the appreciation, compassion and gratitude that you now have for each of your soul mates, and release this huge bursting ball of golden light outward from the center of you toward each of them, sending a huge THANK YOU of grace, love and light. Continue undulating with this until it feels complete, then bring your attention back to your center with a few rounds of breathing, then refocus on your list.
LOOK over your list again – this time seeing anyone who still carries a Zing! or who you were ‘especially hurt by’ when you read their name and circle them, then, on a fresh sheet of paper, form a new list of only these, knowing that these now carry with them a higher purpose for you if you are willing and able to accept it. The names that grace this new list are like ‘key soul mates’ to your next relationship. Receiving the lessons from these keys will open your heart in ways that these soulmates originally intended.
Right now, your only reason for continuing to hold on to any Zing! or pain is that you have yet to consciously ingest their lesson, so the energy of the un-consumed lesson is still with you, waiting to be consciously integrated and realized so you may evolve. Evolution if the root of all activity on the planet. If all that sounds like ‘metaphysical mumbo jumbo’ lemme put it to you this way. SHIT HAPPENS. GET OVER IT. THIS IS HOW.
ONE by one (number them to keep this organized) write out the whole story, or highlights if preferred, of what happened. How did they hurt you. What did they do? Why is that big, bad, ugly, mean or wrong? Tell the page everything. Get it all, all, all out, for each and every one who makes this list. ~:Now is a good time to light a smudge stick of sage if you have it, so you may keep you own energy field clear of attachments:~ Once done, on a fresh sheet of paper, begin with number 1 again (to correspond to person number 1, etc.) and read what you’ve written through the eyes of compassion, and now on the fresh sheet of paper, write out what each was going through at the time, what was true for them in their lives while they were with you, in relation to what it is you think they did to hurt you the most. Be honest about what you know was true for them from your own inner wisdom. ~: Now is a good time to light an uplifting scented candle to sweeten the energy in your space:~
THIS shift in perspective allows you to dissolve the focus off of ‘them hurting you’ and onto the fact that they are just people too, walking aside you on the path to love, looking for assistance and guidance just the same, they did the best they could with the resources they had at the time, and that’s that. What you are able to SEE in the lessons of each person are keys that, once consciously integrated into your own understanding of love and it’s higher function, will allow you to move toward a higher level partnership.
ONCE you’ve gone through each one, start your final sheet of fresh paper, number it accordingly, (1 pertains to person #1 on all sheets) and list your part in the matter for each. What did you do or not do that contributed to the situation, it hurting you, in hurting them, in your relationship not achieving the end result you initially had in mind, or in some cases your part in the situation is just holding onto the pain for longer than need be, thereby causing that energetic pattern to linger in them un-necessarily.
FINALLY once you have gone through this process of 1) identifying who hurt you 2) how they did it 3) their truth 4) your part, then comes the final sendoff of 5) RELEASE AND FORGIVENESS that seals the deal and projects you both onto higher ground. Hold the person in mind, with your new perspective in place, allow the sensation of genuine authentic forgiveness to cultivate in the center of your being, for that person, with the intention of completely releasing them from your being, and specifically in regards to what you were holding against them.
FORGIVE them out loud, by holding them in your vision, then speaking the following (or in your own words):
thank them for being a part of you life
thank them for being a sacred teacher of yours along this journey
tell them that you understand that things unfolded perfectly and what gifts + lessons you have received
and tell them that you understand, that you forgive them and release them, with unconditional love.
•••• An example: If 1) my father made the list, and 2) he did so by not being as available as I needed, then 3) I see that he was in a lot of pain and was suffering a great deal from the losses, heartache and pressures of his own life 4) that my part was not direct since I was a child and could not understand his adult dilemma – but that my part was/is in passively holding this against him for years after (which actually stagnates this energetic pattern in him longer than it would have if I let it go). Finally 5) I see you, I have now received the highest understanding possible from our time together which is compassion and understanding for those closest to me, I thank you, I forgive you, I release you. And so it is.••••
Honor yourself on the journey to love and high level partnership. Seek to hold yourself to standards that are wildly impressive to your own soul, and seek relationship with someone who holds you and themselves to that same standard, nothing less. Create time to work through the above sacred ritual, all at once or within a few sessions, revisiting the steps as often as needed until you feel all of the past release from you, lighter, more energy, clear in your heart, supported, positive, and open to what is next and highest for you.
Please share with me if you found this Ritual helpful, and let me know what you experienced and what you attracted as a result of intentionally clearing your own path up to open to new love…
In love + light -Tancie