We Are Family

” We are Fam-A-Lee  [yea yea yea]….my brotha’s and my sista’s and me! “ I have to admit, in the past, anytime I saw the words ‘we are family’ written anywhere, the Sister Sledge song immediately came to mind. But today, something different and profound has been happening to me, maybe to you too.

I am not exactly sure why, but at some point last year I started calling all the women I met ‘sister’. No matter how well I knew her or not, I started throwing the word ‘sister’ out in conversation, or in my greeting or farewell.

I didn’t even have to try to do it, it just came out randomly and naturally. I rarely got a reaction to it, but what I began to notice was when I called a woman ‘sister’ my heart would warm up. I’d feel a subtle surge of love, peace and connection. I began to have the same impulse toward men, to call them brother, and in certain moments I started to do so, which felt equally as good!

Now, I don’t want this to sound corny, cause it is a very real thing for me, but a few months later, I actually began to see people on the street as my brothers and sisters.

Not as if my mother gave birth to them, but I began to sense that we were all related in a complex, eternal yet profoundly simple way.

No matter what age, race or creed, for the past year I have felt a powerful sense of connection and relation to every person around me. This has been amazing, and has shifted my entire experience of life, and my perception of reality.

There are still people in my life that I struggle with, and there are strangers too who, at times, annoy the heck out of me, but my reactivity to people has been diminished to a fraction of what it once was when I perceived myself and others as separate from one another.

Recently I was able to be with my whole family for 4 days on a little vacation. [There we are in the pic!] While with them, the feelings of love and connection not only increased, but I noticed that I felt an even stronger connection to some people around who were complete strangers. That was when it crystalized for me that feeling love and connection was never meant to be exclusive to our ‘birth family’, but that love and connection is available constantly, is way more widespread than we can ever imagine and that we each play an important role in perpetuating and growing it.

The most profound truth that has come from this shift has turned into a practice for me, and I want to share it with you today.

Consider this…Unlike earlier days when people stayed close to home and even lived in the same house as their families, today most of us work elsewhere, or have moved far away and do not spend the bulk of our lives near family. Despite this fact, I believe that we are supposed to experience the love and connection of family regardless of where we are.

With that in mind:

When ever you are wherever you are, take a moment to acknowledge that the people around you have family somewhere. They have mothers, fathers, siblings and grandparents. In the moment that you are seeing them, chances are, their birth family is not.

Their family is not there in that moment to look at them through loving eyes, to see them and to be so happy that they exist, to watch them doing their life, and to shine the light of love from their eyes and hearts in that persons direction. But you are.

You are there to feel the love. It is for you to do.

I am inviting you to see everyone around you through the eyes of love and connection for their families who are not with them to do so, see them as part of your very own family, and allow your love for your mother, father, sister, brother or grandparent to flow toward them. Begin to acknowledge how much their mothers must love them, their fathers, and how much their families would be so happy to see them right now. Do this, seriously, and reach out to me. Let me know how it goes for you.

We are all one, we are all connected, when you project love toward others, love will be projected toward you. And I know for a fact that each individual will arrive at their own moment of this beautiful fact becoming a reality for them. I hope what I have shared here speeds that up for you. Share this with those you love, especially those who you know could use a bump in this direction!

Also, take a moment to enjoy this awesome All Star rendition of ‘We Are Family’ and let it inspire and remind you to see each person as just that, family.

Let me know if you are feeling the family love too, or if you have had a similar experience, share below.

It means a lot to me to hear from you sister/brother…


4 comments to We Are Family

  • TIffany

    Sista from the same motha!!! I love this, it’s especially important for us, not living near biological family! I will try it out…thanks! Love you!

    • Tancie

      Totally Tiffany, especially for people who are not near their fam’s, this causes us to realize that in fact we are near our fam’s, every moment of every day, everyone is related. So each passerby is actually related to us.

      This also makes my bio family that much MORE special and important to me, cause of everyone on earth that I am related to, they are the closest, know me the best, and hold the most important lessons for me.

      Thanks so much for the comment sister! xo you…

  • Mel

    Tancie, I love this. Having lived my adult life in Houston and away from my entire biological family, the friends I have had for 40 years inBellaire and Houston WERE the only family I had. They were there for me thru the boys’ births, thru any illnesses, good times and difficult times. After reading your post, I realize how important they were to me and my family. Thank u for reminding me of the impact they had on my life. I look forward to reconnecting with them. Additionally, I will look at everyone now thru a different set of eyes. I love that your family could spend such quality time together. Luv u and looking forward to seeing u again soon. Mel

  • Tancie

    Mel, this is exactly what I am talking about, seeing the community around us, including those we will never personally meet, as family. It’s a very warm, loving, and deeply personal thing to do, and I believe it makes the world and the people in it better.

    Thanks for sharing how this has been an important thing for you! Lots of love to you and your huge extended family… xoxo!!

Leave a Reply